The Art Of Letting Go:How To Overcome Your Regrets And Move On With Your Life.

What does it mean to let go?

The verb “let go” means to release hold on something or set something free. It means to let something go or relinquish something.

In the broader sense and in the context I’m about to use it, letting go means to forget memories of an occurrence. It also means to forget someone and to grow out of life-defining strongholds. More importantly, it means letting the past be past. It also means leaving everything that happened in the past!

To let go is to set the heart and mind free of regrets and of course, to let go means to find a new identity for oneself. Letting go is an art and as it is, not many people have mastered it. Not many many people know how to let go. At a point in our lives, we’ve gone through emotional hardships. We’ve made mistakes, we’ve gotten hurt by someone or maybe disappointed those who look up to us. These scenarios are hurtful and are capable of impairing our spiritual and emotional well-being.

Many people out there live in the present but dwell in the past, there are many people who wake up in the morning with hearts heavy with bitter regrets. They dwell in the illusions of would haves, should haves and could haves. What they did, what they didn’t do and they should have done. We all make mistakes. We’ve gotten entangled with the wrong people. We’ve made decisions that have somehow impeded our growth but despite the challenges, it is crucial to let g. We need to forget and move on!

Let my soulful sorrows burn and to joy all my dreadful cares turn.

Letting go and moving on isn’t easy. At times, finding a new identity might just be difficult. Still, we have to because of these reasons.

(I) Firstly, those who don’t forget the past don’t forward in life.
Ofcourse we’re familiar with this saying, but we don’t really know what it means or how it applies to us practically. The question now is,why won’t people who don’t forget the past move forward?

(a) A person who holds onto the past will miss out the opportunity of learning from it and in the process make more mistakes. People and occurrence are lessons learned but if we fail to recognise this we will put ourselves in an emotional bondage.
We may have lost things in the course of learning lessons. But nothing will change if we keep brooding. We need to use the lessons learned to become wiser and smarter. That way, if better things and better people come to us, we will know how to retain them.

(b) People who hold onto the past don’t move forward. They might become mentally affected. If we keep brooding over the past,we would become sad and then depressed and weak. Too weak to do anything! The only thing a person who goes through this situation would want to do is just to sit and stare. He might even stop eating and this may lead to serious health issues. Do you know it has been scientifically proven that you can die from heartbreak? And that 50% cause of depression is regretting.

(c) He will think he cannot be better than who was in the past. If a writer, musician, or artist loses all his works (laptop or phone), and refuses to move on, he will think he cannot create better content. He will continue to blame himself for his loss, muling over the beauty and perfection of the works he lost. In the end, he might become unproductive and not move forward. Likewise, a person who keeps musing over the qualities of an ex lover will not be able to love another person.

II) Secondly, heaven is for those who let go of regrets.
I heard this line in a song and the instant my ears picked the words, I knew the singer was not referring to the physical paradise we all want to spend our afterlives in. Rather, he meant a state of ethereal peace of mind,a kind of stillness that just elevates the soul. There is this freedom and a whiff of fresh air that comes with letting the past go. You feel at ease, you feel free! It is
Memories have a way of recurring and nostalgia has a subtle way of hurting but we just have to.

(III) Thirdly, if you refuse to move on and forget the past you will soon begin to look silly. Giving up on your dreams because of a mistake you made will only earn you pity from people who will later mock you for it. My mother has this saying “If someone falls and refuses to get up people will meet him on the spot where he fell, sympathize with him and go their way, leaving him to continue wallowing in self-pity. But if he stands up immediately he falls, nobody will know that he fell!”
If you refuse to let go of your regrets and sorrows, the therapy you are getting will not work and your people might become irritated and leave you be.

I have the life of Christ which is light, against depression I have strength to fight.

HOW TO LET GO OF THE PAST

(I) Forgive yourself.
This is the first thing that can help you move on from your past. Cut yourself some slack. Consider yourself a human who is vulnerable to making mistakes, no matter how silly the circumstance or reason. Don’t be hard on yourself and don’t let people’s hypocritical “If it were me I wouldn’t haves” get to you. Remember,we are all wise in someone else’s dilemma. We all have advices and opinions to give until it’s happening to us! Forgive yourself for not knowing the things you didn’t know. Also, for thinking nothing would go wrong with your decision at the time you were making it. Forgive yourself for hurting or disappointing people both consciously and unconsciously. Forgive yourself the way you would forgive anyone who wrongs you, let it go!

(II) Accept and embrace change.
Letting go of the past involves acceptance. What happened has happened, nothing can reverse it, accept it and focus on the present. Embrace change, embrace the consequences of your actions and live life. Reflect on lessons learned and prioritize your well being. Don’t let depression kill you!

III) Gratitude.
Focus on the positive aspects of what occurred in the past. As weird as this might sound, take the disappointments you encountered as a blessing. The people who left did so because they were not meant to be in your life in the first place. Consider everything to be the will of God, even if you are the one at fault! Yes, even if you are the one who wronged them! Look on the bright side and give thanks. Remember that what will be will be and if you don’t believe in this saying; see what happened to you as a form of training!

I am happy because I am free, I am free because I believe, knowing Jesus has given me relieve. The world I have lost, salvation I have gained, not a slave to sin again.

(IV) Change Your Mantra.
Let your thoughts and mindset be different. Get rid of negativity and hopelessness. When you wake up in the morning say positive things to yourself.You are whatever you think you are so make positive declarations to yourself and to your life! Always say things like; I am beautiful, I am powerful, I am strong! Self pity kills faster than cyanide, don’t live your life wanting people to always feel sorry for you!

(V) Finally and most importantly, run to Jesus Christ! Ask God to give you a new identity,ask God to give you peace of mind. When you accept Jesus as your Lord and personal saviour, you will become dead to sin and you will become a new person. A new person whose unpleasant past no longer determines his present and his future. (2 Corinthians 5vs17). When you open your heart to God, you will receive the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. According to Galatians 2vs20, you will be reborn into Jesus Christ and bear the identity of his grace and love.

In conclusion, we cannot let go of the past in the snap of a finger. It is a gradual process,it takes time and deliberateness. But inasmuch as it does,we need to come to terms with the fact that nothing can ever change the past. I pray that God strengthens us all (Amen)

Thank you very much for reading.

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