A Post Valentine’s Day Tale.

When I loved, I love like it was my very last, but then it was called obsession. Seeing this, I decided to like and care instead. You know, not too tight and not too loose but they frowned and labelled it non committal. I wasn’t doing enough, they said. I wasn’t giving my all, I was distant and of every ugly adjectives I could be, I could only be toxic!

You see, there would come a stage in you life when you lose the strength of explaining yourself everytime. When you just lose the fervour for engaging in obsequious activities especially in the name of love relationships. That stage when whether or not people decide to like you is entirely their problem,at this point you just want to breathe, no qualms and no stress.

The whether has been hot recently and the excruciating heat in the middle of the night made me wake up two hours earlier than my usual wake time. As I stood by the window of my sparsely furnished one-bedroom apartment, I couldn’t help but feel amused by the noise of the banter that was coming from the second floor of the building. Some tenants have started quarrelling this early morning, face me I slap you house wahala.
Just then, my phone beeped with a message notification
“Happy Valentine Habeeb, I’m always that glad you are in my life”
The message do me one kain as I read am, but after a while of confused staring, I gathered enough strength to toss my phone on the bed.  The cool breeze that walked through the window at that moment seemed to me like a saviour. The one that had come to quench the fresh heat that had begun to bubble in depths of my stomach.

This very day looks like love. Love is in the air the emotion our hearts holds dear.

Few minutes after I started preparing to go and take a bath, my phone beeped twice with another message notification but I ignored it and proceeded to the outhouse. When I got to the public bathroom, I took a deep breath and begin washing myself with babyish slowness and gentleness. The kind a fresh graduate who was befuddled with the depressing uncertainties of life would apply. I liked water,I liked bathing, it was the only time I and my distorted thoughts usually got to listen to each other. As my calculating head emitted heat as a result of my survivalist broodings, the cold water on my body would pacify my fraying soul. Thinking is therapeutic and harmful at the same time but then we all get to choose our own poisons in the end. I have chosen mine as judiciously as I could, I have chosen to spend hours and hours thinking about my life while I bathe.

I don’t know how long I was in bathroom for but by the time I opened the brown water soaked wood used as a door,it was past dawn and the morning was now clear. The thinking session in my head continued and the repetitive banters echoed so loud in my head that I didn’t notice anything different in my room when I opened the door and walked inside. I was so lost in thoughts that I didn’t notice the scent of the familiar Nivea perfume that my cubicle shaped abode had become engulfed in.

Hearts in sync and mind as one,battles impending together we have won. Oh dear Valentine’s Day if only you could always stay.

“Why didn’t you reply my calls and messages Habeeb?”
My heart jerked in my chest and the sudden shock jolted me into reality. And there she was. Arms beneath her breasts in defiance, dancing vigorously to the songs of anger like an headless snake, all livid and fuming with blistering rage. And there they were too, valentine gifts and packages of different shapes and sizes littered all over my tiny mattress.

“Heyyy” I greeted quirkyly with a one sided smile  “babe it’s so good to…”
“Don’t babe me Habeeb” she screamed loudly, cutting me short “don’t even try it, don’t you dare it”  I sighed in resignation, dropped my soap case on the floor and walk to my wooden dresser “I called you severally but you ignored it” she continued “I sent you tons of messages!”
“there” I pointed to my phone as it lay lifeless on the bed, “I wasn’t with my phone when you called,I was bathing”
“You were bathing?” the rhetorical way with which she asked the question painted the amusement on her caramel face  “you were bathing?, you were bathing for three good hours!”  She then placed her hand akimbo and moved closer to me ” Did you how long I have been here, did you even have an idea, ehn Habeeb!”

Do you know what is in my head? I wanted to shout back. Do you know what happened to Forex market last night, do you know what my condition will be in the next three weeks because of it? Do you know I have debts to pay?  Do you even know anything at all? But I just kept mute as a rumbling ache usurped my tummy and as a tingling sourness crawled into my tired eyes.
We remained in silence for some minutes and she removed her wig, dropped it on the bed and moved closer to me

Don’t you ever let go. Breath in deep and hold me close, listen to the blue love song of my soul. Close your eyes and see, only what we want will be. See my feelings and feel my heart and stay till we are old and grey. If you could see my thoughts you would see your face, the sweet place where I found my saving grace.

“You are not saying anything Habeeb” she softened up with a deep sigh and placed her hand on my shoulder, “why are you silent? Please say something”  The  mildness in her tone and softness of her touch triggered something assailable inside me and for a spliting moment there, my subconscious slumped limply on her neck. I saw it crying and whining about how tired and frustrated I really was. How I just wanted to run away and hideaway and never return again! How I wanted to forget all my worries for a fleeting moment, how I just wanted to be free. I finally turned to place my head on her arm but she repositioned my acned face to meet squarely with hers. “Habeeb”, she muttered softly. Her countenance held the embrace of empathy, her words carried the weight of solemnity, and my restless heart found solace in their harmonious exchange.

“It’s Valentine’s Day” she raised her hand to silence me as I opened my mouth to object “I don’t know you don’t care for stuff like this but then give yourself a break. Give yourself a day off from your daily routine of sadness and depression. Let yourself be happy today and you will continue from here tomorrow” I averted my eyes, seeking escape from her words, but her touch halted my retreat and guided my gaze back to meet hers. At that moment, her deep brown eyes sparkled so incandescently that I felt my love for her blaze and bubble inside of me, like a dormant volcano waiting to erupt.

“Live free today” she continued “appreciate what you have, the people in your life and celebrate your little achievements. You will tell me what you were doing in the bathroom tomorrow but let’s transcend above all our worries today. Do you hear?” I nodded affirmatively and she burst into laughter

“You and your Schizoid personality disorder” she swatted my arm playfully and laughed harder bobbing her head right and left
“What’s that?” I asked astonishingly “I’ve never heard of it before”
“It’s the kind of person you are” She said in response “so I’m not surprised,I shouldn’t even have shouted at you the other time”
“You’ve been doing researches?” I asked as she turned to open the curtains to invite the orange sun rays into the gloomy room.
“I have been reading my books” she answered and I could only curve my lips into a big, wide and affectionate smile.

I believe in magic, I believe our love is true. That I was blessed the moment you came into my view. Love is a jagged pill to swallow and so in deep quarrels we might sometimes wallow but your scars are my stars, up in the sky of my heart. In a thousand years and two I will still be in love with you. Valentine’s Day today, it feels like our first day. Valentine’s Day today,my devotion will not go astray. A Post Valentine’s Day tale, I’ll let love remain the sail come whatever between us may.

Last week was valentine but I got the inspiration to write this today, thanks to a good friend. I’m glad you made time to read this and I’m grateful to you for clicking my link. Thank you very much I love you so much ❤️❤️

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